There is no such thing as a spiritually healthy person who is low on emotional intelligence. Knowing God and being filled with His Spirit will result in a growth of humility (Ephesians 4:2), self-control (Galatians 5:23), empathy (Romans 12:15), and giving relationships (Philippians 2:3,4). If we find we are low in any of these areas, we are not only low in Emotional Intelligence, but we need to stop and evaluate our walk with Christ.
Paul challenged the Corinthians to take a deep look at themselves and see whether what they believed was really – what they believed. Because whatever you believe, that is who you will become. We need to stop fooling ourselves if we say one thing but we are living in some way differently from that. Emotional Intelligence is a body of research that assists us in taking that good long look that can result in a healthy relationship with one another and helps us examine our faith.
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!
2 Corinthians 13:5
Because everyone loves to eat, the following recipe, The Recipe for Handling Your Emotions (Bake Up Some Emotional Intelligence), outlines emotional intelligence – what it is, how to develop it, and what the end product (life) looks and tastes like. It takes some of the basic tenets of what E.I. is and lays them out, nice and simple, so we can put it together and then devour it later.
Share this recipe with your family over a meal and consider how to encourage one another in your own recipe for success in your relationships with one another and God!
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and handle your own emotions and be able to understand and manage emotions with others. They can be categorized into two different sections:
- Knowing Self
- Knowing Others
Knowing Self involves self-awareness of one’s emotions, self-management of these emotions, and the ability to handle them to meet long term goals.
Knowing Others involves empathy and social skills based on our understanding of others’ emotions and being a team player.
Ingredients for E.I.
- Self-awareness – you know your emotions and how they affect your life
- Self-management – controlling your emotional expressions
- Motivation – work hard toward goals for self and in relationships
- Empathy – care for others
- Social Skills – effective communication
- Know Your Ingredients – understand each of the ingredients so you know what you are working with.
- What do you have? – for each ingredient, record your self-perception; what strength or weakness do you think you have for each one?
- Measure Carefully – how much of each ingredient do you really have? Answer some objective questions to see where your E.I. strengths and weaknesses lie; there are many online tests available.
- Mix Them Up – think about how all 5 ingredients are needed and work together; reflect and contemplate
- Cook Something Up – time to do something; create practical steps toward improving your E.I. ingredients
- Serve It Up– enjoy the outcome of what you have made! Celebrate how life tastes better with a good recipe for E.I.!
- Measure Your Success – all recipes need tweaking; what will you change to improve your E.I.?
- This recipe only works if you are honest with yourself. Honesty means you must be vulnerable and take risks.
- Growing in your emotional skills requires community; discuss E.I. with others and get their input
- Knowledge must be applied for growth to occur. If you know where you need to grow, but don’t do something to grow, you won’t grow.
How do you know if your E.I. recipe is delicious?
- You verbally express yourself well
- You are highly empathetic toward others
- Conflict is an opportunity to grow, not a threat
- You benefit from criticism
- You control your thoughts
- You pause before answering, acting or expressing your emotions
- You stick to your values
- You are generous in your praise of others
- You apologize humbly
- You forgive and forget (are not bitter)
- You build trust and inspire others
Happy Baking! Elizabeth